): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
