He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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