I'll bet she douches with gravy.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize