I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
