I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
