Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
