Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
