I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
