Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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