Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
