East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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