Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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