I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
