What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
