Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You need a sexual gate keeper
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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