dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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