I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
