i don't like sucking hair
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
