oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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