i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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