Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
