Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
