I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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