We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
