Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
