JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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