school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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