But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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