My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
