I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
