i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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