I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
