It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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