Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
