is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
