One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
