I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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