Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
