Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
