That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
