all she had left on were here heels. phone five
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
