does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
