I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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