I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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