It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
