I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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