I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
