Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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