I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
