are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
