just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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