Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
