Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think i peed on brittanys purse
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
