I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
