we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
