Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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