sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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