Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
