If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
