the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize