I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
