I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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