i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
